• Comfort Is Being Carried By Mom. Being held by a caregiver prompts an automatic calming response within babies, new research shows. Crying is not an effort to manipulate; it is “a natural consequence of the infant sensorimotor systems.” If your baby needs to be held, but you need your hands free, consider a baby carrier that holds your baby to your body as though in your arms, such as a wrap, sling, or Ergo/Beco. And remember that being held by dad, grandma, grandpa, and older siblings can also prompt the calming response — not just mama! (Science Daily)

• Pregnancy in the Workplace: Avoiding Bumpy Communications.  Great advice for pregnant women and their coworkers! You might recognize a familiar name among the interviewees. =) (The Health Journals)

• Sucking Your Child’s Pacifier Clean May Have Benefits. The most beneficial way for you to clean that pacifier? With your own mouth! (New York Times Well Blog)

• Pitocin in Labor Has Adverse Effects on Newborns. “Researchers found that induction and augmentation of labor with oxytocin was an independent risk factor for unexpected admission to the NICU lasting more than 24 hours for full-term infants. Augmentation also correlated with Apgar scores of fewer than seven at five minutes. The Apgar is a test that evaluates a newborn’s physical condition at one and five minutes after birth based on appearance (skin coloration), pulse (heart rate), grimace response (medically known as “reflex irritability”), activity and muscle tone, and respiration (breathing rate and effort). A baby who scores eight and above is generally considered to be in good health. The analysis suggests that oxytocin use may not be as safe as once thought and that proper indications for its use should be documented for further study.”(American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)

• 10 Outdoor Activities to Give a Try This Week.  If you and your kiddos are stumped for activity ideas *not* involving iPods, iPads, iPhones, computers, TVs, and video games, this post has some suggestions! Have fun out there! (Outside Mom)

• How To Cope After An Unwanted Cesarean. Great advice for emotional and physical healing after an unwanted C-section. And, local mamas, know that Cesarean and VBAC Education and Support of Hampton Roads is a Facebook group that can help you on your journey! (High-Heel Wearing, Hippie Mommy)

• Group B Strep in Pregnancy: Evidence for Antibiotics and Alternatives. The new Group B Strep article from Evidence Based Birth. The U.S. and United Kingdom have very different approaches to screening for and treating GBS-colonized women. What do you think about it all? (Evidence Based Birth)

• The Power of Talking to Your Baby. “[T]he key to early learning is talking — specifically, a child’s exposure to language spoken by parents and caretakers from birth to age 3, the more the better. It turns out, evidence is showing, that the much-ridiculed stream of parent-to-child baby talk — Feel Teddy’s nose! It’s so soft! Cars make noise — look, there’s a yellow one! … — is very, very important. (So put those smartphones away!)” (New York Times)

• Live Music’s Charms, Soothing Premature Hearts.  Live music, sung or played to premature infants, reduces their stress and stabilizes their vital signs so that they can invest more energy in normal development. Hooray for lullabies! (New York Times)

• VIDEO: Paced Bottle Feeding for the Breastfed Baby. If your baby will receive bottles (of breastmilk or formula), watch this! Paced bottle feeding, like breastfeeding, helps babies learn to self-regulate food intake, promoting healthy eating habits and preventing excess weight gain. Studies related to the one she mentions are described well here by IBCLC Nancy Mohrbacher. (Jessica Barton)

• The Evidence for Doulas. Every laboring woman deserves a doula! “Women who received continuous support were more likely to have spontaneous vaginal births and less likely to have any pain medication, epidurals, negative feelings about childbirth, vacuum or forceps-assisted births, and C-sections. In addition, their labors were shorter by about 40 minutes and their babies were less likely to have low Apgar scores at birth.” Happy World Doula Week! (Rebecca L. Dekker, PhD, RN, APRN, Evidence Based Birth)

• 15 Best Baby Shower Gifts for the Natural Mom-to-Be. I love this list. If you’re baby-gift shopping for a first-time mama, you might love it, too! Though I would definitely add a copy of Harvey Karp’s The Happiest Baby on the Block to the book list! (The Stir)

• Study: Women Abused As Kids More Likely To Have Children With Autism. All the more reason for our society to prevent abuse by identifying and healing its root causes: “Women who reported physical, emotional, or sexual abuse when they were young were more likely to have a child with autism compared to women who were not abused. The more severely the women were abused, the higher their chances of having a child with autism,” a new study of over 50,000 women has found. (TIME)

• Law Says Insurers Should Pay For Breast Pumps, But Which Ones? Has your insurance company said they would only cover the cost of a manual breast pump, not an electric one? (NPR)

• A ‘worrisome’ risk: Most babies are fed solid food too soon, study finds.  Mothers trust their pediatricians’ word on when to start solid foods, but many peds give outdated advice, research shows. Current, evidence-based recommendations from the AAP and WHO: exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, then continued breastfeeding, with the addition of complementary foods, for at least a year and for as long as mutually desired by mother and baby. The original study in Pediatrics can be found here. (MSN NBC)

•  Compare Hospitals’ Birth Statistics. This is a FANTASTIC tool for comparing the rates of C-section, repeat C-section, episiotomy, average length of hospital stay, average hospital charge (and many other statistics) of different hospitals in Virginia! (Virginia Health Information)

• Early Deliveries Without Medical Indications: Just Say No, Says ACOG. ”Suspecting a large baby is not a medical reason to deliver before 39 weeks,” is the message of a new joint statement from ACOG and the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine. Ultrasound estimates of fetal weight are notoriously unreliable — and even if baby really *is* big, “big baby” is not a reason to perform early inductions or C-sections! (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)

• Why Kids No Longer Consider Facebook Cool. Facebook is so 2011. Snapchat, Instagram, and Kik Messenger are where all the cool kids are these days. Oy, parenting in the digital age! (Huffington Post; also related: Welcome to Facebook’s Midlife Crisis)

• Help the Easter Bunny Find the Good Stuff.  My son melts down if he eats foods containing artificial dyes. It’s amazing how ubiquitous those dyes are, especially in holiday treats! The European Union recognizes that artificial dyes can induce ADHD-like behavior in children, and requires that dye-containing foods bear warning labels, but here in the US, the FDA hasn’t come around yet. If you’re looking for alternatives, Trader Joe’s has naturally-colored Easter treats! (Jane Hersey for Williamsburg Families)

• A Brief History of 7 Baby Basics. Brief and fascinating histories of how strollers, baby monitors, formula, disposable diapers, pacifiers, baby bottles, and car seats came to be. (Mental Floss)

• ‘Grayest Generation’: Older Parenthood in the U.S. As a mother in the Grayest [Childbearing] Generation, I found this Fresh Air interview fascinating and deeply unsettling. I was shocked by so much of it: the effects of a father’s age on the integrity of the DNA in his sperm and the subsequent health of his children; the lack of oversight/reporting on birth defect rates in children conceived via assisted reproductive technologies, including Clomid; the toll on older parents of being in the “sandwich generation,” pulled between the needs of their young children and their own elderly parents. If you’re not a podcast enthusiast, here is the original New Republic article that prompted the interview. (Judith Shulevitz, NPR, Fresh Air)

• Folic Acid For Pregnant Mothers Cuts Kids’ Autism Risk. A large new study found a huge (40%!) reduction in autism risk for children of mothers who take folic acid supplements before becoming pregnant and during pregnancy, especially early pregnancy. A daily dose of at least 400 micrograms of folic acid is recommended to mothers while trying to conceive and while pregnant. Take your prenatal vitamins, mamas and mamas-to-be! (NPR, All Things Considered)

• No Mom Is An Island. If you suspect parenting might be harder these days than it was 50 years ago, you’re right: our grandparents’ generation had a lot more help, in the form of nearby (or live-in) relatives and available neighbors and friends! Never hesitate to ask for help — it truly takes a village to raise a child!  This is a longtime favorite post… (Harvey Karp, Huffington Post)

• What Are the Options When Your Baby is Breech? In 2000, half of all breech babies were still delivered vaginally. That year, a study was published suggesting C-section was the safer way to deliver. “Within months, breech C-sections went from 50 percent to 80 percent and, by 2006, 90 percent. Then, we found out the study was flawed.” Current data actually support the safety of vaginal breech birth in certain scenarios, but generations of new OBs have not been trained in vaginal breech techniques. Until that trend reverses, mothers of breech babies can try the methods in this article to help their little ones turn head-down! (Giving Birth With Confidence)

• The Family Stories That Bind Us.  ”The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The ‘Do You Know?’ scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.” (New York Times)

A very special birth story today!  Mama Kayla shares her journey to a VBAC with the birth of her second child at Sentara Williamsburg.

Kayla’s story is a lovely illustration of how a difficult first birth experience can inspire a woman to approach her next birth with great thought, self-education, and care — increasing her chances that her birth will be healing, empowering, and aligned with her ideal, as Kayla’s was for her!

Kayla, congratulations on your beautiful baby boy, and on your triumphant VBAC!  Thank you for sharing your experience with us all!

To read all of the birth stories in our Local Birth Story Series, click here.  Hospital births, home births, birth center births, births with OBs, births with midwives — all are represented!

THE BIRTH OF DECLAN: AN EMPOWERING VBAC EXPERIENCE

To tell this story I need to back up a bit and start with my first birth.

I was raised with home birth and all the now “hippy” trendy stuff, not because of my parents’ life choices but because we were poor. Things like disposable diapers and formula that so many people take for granted these days were luxuries to my parents. To me, it was normal and natural to breastfeed and to plant flowers where you buried the placenta. So when I found out I was expecting my first son, the thought of having an epidural never entered my mind, let alone ever in my wildest thoughts did I think I would need a C-section.

Growing up, I was always told I had nice birthing hips by my mother. I had never really imagined my own births, but I knew if my mother could do it unmedicated, so could I. When I found out my son was still breech at 37 weeks, I thought, “No big deal, babies can turn at the last minute.” As my due date came closer and closer, my doctors said I would need a C-section. I was like, “What do you mean? So what if he’s breech? People have breech babies vaginally all the time.” Little did I know at the time that was not the case with first babies in the world of western medicine. I ended up having my C-section at 39 weeks. I wasn’t allowed to go into labor on my own. I always thought, “Once a C-section, always a C-section,” and my chances of ever having a natural unmedicated birth were history. I was devastated. I cried every step of the way because in my eyes, my whole pregnancy and birth experience was just robbed from me.

When I found out 15 months later I was expecting again, I was determined to do everything I could to make this birth — no matter the outcome — something I could live with emotionally.

After months of research on VBAC’s, and switching doctors back and forth, I was ready mentally to go for it. I had everything I thought would up my chances. Finally on Thursday November 30th around 1:30 in the afternoon, I thought I was in labor. I was having horrible sharp pains that would wrap around my whole lower body, and they were becoming regular. Since I never went into labor with my first, I thought this had to be it. So I called my doula and my doctor. My wonderful doula came over around 8 or 9 in the evening and we pretty much sat around watching Lost until my curiosity got the best of me, and I wanted to be checked. We got to L&D around midnight. I was only 1 cm dilated, and I was advised to go home and rest. The next morning I woke up to nothing, no pain.  I thought, “Okay, it must have just been false labor,” and went about my day a little embarrassed for overreacting, seeing as I was only 38 weeks. Went to bed that night contemplating how much longer I had because I was so over being pregnant.

Saturday I woke up cramping.  It was definitely a different feeling than the day before. I went to the bathroom, and I was spotting a little. I thought to myself, “Bloody show?” and started getting excited because the baby was on his way out. I woke up my husband a couple hours later because I wanted to make sure it was real this time. I called my sister-in-law so she could begin the drive from Pennsylvania to watch my son so I could labor. I called my doctor and doula again around 10 am and told them my contractions were about 3 mins apart (so I thought). I was timing them myself because my silly husband couldn’t work a smart phone. Around noon we decided to go back to L&D, and my doula met us there. I was checked and told I was at 3 cm and about 75% effaced. At this point the hospital indicated that if I wanted to I could walk around for a bit and see if labor would speed up. About an hour later they checked me and there didn’t seem to be any progress, so we left and picked up some lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings, as the L&D nurse suggested spicy wings to speed up labor.

I walked into Wild Wings and the first thing I heard was, “You better not go into labor!” I laughed and said, “Too late.” This whole time, of course, I was having contractions and stopping to breathe through them. I could still talk fine and joke around.

At home I went walking and took long showers. The contractions were still steady at 3 mins apart. Around 6 pm we went back to L&D because I was sure I had progressed to at least 4 cm and could be admitted. I was only 3 1/2 cm and exhausted. The OB offered to admit me so I could have a medicated rest, but I opted to go back home. I knew if I went too early my chances of a repeat C-section would go up. I felt so bad for apparently calling my doula yet again for a false alarm. Back at home I was determined to get this baby out. I convinced my husband that sex would help, hoping it would break my water or do something. Around midnight I was like okay this is it, there has to be something they can do at the hospital to make this stop or speed up. I was so tired at this point I would have paid 5 times the amount if they would just do another C-section. This time the OB checked me and I was still only 3 1/2 cm. At that news I just broke into tears. He politely told me because I was only 38 weeks +4 days pregnant, they couldn’t give me Pitocin to speed labor up, and that they weren’t allowed to alter the course of labor until 39 weeks. Embarrassed for going to L&D for what felt like the 19th time, I found my resolve yet again, and we went back home.

I sent the doula home to get some sleep because apparently I was still in early labor, just having constant 3-min-apart contractions. I was so tired and in tears and my contractions seemed to never end. Around 5 am we went back to L&D because I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. I asked the OB over the phone if I could finally do the medicated rest if I still wasn’t progressing. He told me yes and to come on in.

By this time I had been in labor for 24 hours with 3-min-apart contractions that just weren’t being effective.

They made me fill out all the paperwork and took me to a room. We called the doula and let her know what we decided to do. The doctor told us it would either make me sleep or I would burn through the medication and really start progressing. I think it was around 6 am when they finally gave it to me. The timeline becomes a bit fuzzy from this point on. I burned through the medication pretty fast and by 8 am I was at 5 cm. I finally had this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I was progressing and my VBAC was looking more and more possible. I got in the birthing tub for I don’t know how long. It felt so good but I wanted to dunk my head in the water and for some reason I thought maybe that wasn’t allowed during labor. I just couldn’t fully relax in the tub. I got out and went back to the bed. I was hooked up on monitors the entire time because of the VBAC, and I was so tired I didn’t want to move.

The big thing I really made a point of wanting was the ability to move around during labor so I could help the baby out but I ended up laying in the hospital bed on one side or the other gripping the railings in pain. I’m sure I was not in the best position to labor but I just didn’t want to move. I remember my doula walking in the room and me becoming more and more dramatic. At one point I lost myself in some kind of hallucination and said something to my doula. I just remember my husband saying, “What is she talking about?”

I’m not sure what time it happened but the anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself at some point. I was at 7 cm now, and I knew if I made it this far, I could do it with no epidural. Another doctor came in when I was at 9 1/2 cm and finally broke my water which by this point I was okay with. Shortly after this point, I started screaming for drugs but the anesthesiologist was in the ER and unavailable.

Finally I thought I was ready to push. It took me a while to figure out that I should wait and sync up the contractions with the urge to push. I was tiring myself out even more by pushing in between contractions. Something to remember for next time. I pushed for an hour and 40 minutes and then with a gush, out came the baby. His cord was short so they couldn’t hand him right to me. We waited for his cord to stop pulsing, they cut it, and then they handed him to me. I just had a very successful unmedicated VBAC with little intervention, and I almost couldn’t believe it. In the end I had very few complications. I received a second degree tear which honestly I never really noticed, and my bladder became distended due to being in labor for so long. Besides those few things I couldn’t have had a more perfect labor and birth of my son. He was 7 lbs 12 oz and 18 inches long with the fullest head of dark brown hair I have ever seen on a baby.

Skin-to-skin, holding for the first time

Looking back now, I don’t understand how anyone could have a baby any way but unmedicated. The recovery is so much easier. I was up and out of bed as soon as I was sewn up, breathless but mobile. I won’t deny the pain of labor but my memory of it has transformed into something so positive. I almost can’t wait to do it again as the entire experience has left me feeling empowered and proud.  However, after everything was said and done, even if this labor had ended with another C-section, I think I would have been okay with it, because this time, I was an active participant in my birth experience. Instead of being told I could not labor, I was able to have my son in the manner I wanted. I was able to choose to labor, to choose to labor unmedicated, to choose to labor on the hospital bed clutching the side rail. Even if I’d chosen an epidural, I strongly believe that in the end whatever choice you end up making during labor is a choice well made.

CARE PROVIDERS

Hospital: Sentara Williamsburg Regional Medical Center

Doula: Mandy Bealer, 757.272.2254, doulamommabirth@gmail.com

27 hours after delivery, at home and comfy, with baby Declan and his big brother!

• The Future of Humanity Rests on a Healthy Vaginal Microbiome.  The health of a woman’s vaginal microbiome affects her risk of contracting STDs and of experiencing infertility, miscarriage, and preterm birth, and may also affect the long-term health of her baby. Treat bacterial vaginosis and other vaginal infections, consider probiotics, and DON’T DOUCHE! (Slate)

• Best Evidence About the Effects of Epidural Analgesia. Considering an epidural? Epidurals are highly effective but are not without risks to both mother and baby. Make an informed decision with this objective and evidence-based list from Childbirth Connection. (Childbirth Connection)

• Wondering How a Baby Looks When She Is Hungry? This wonderful graphic shows you! Feed baby when she exhibits early hunger cues (stirring, turning head, rooting) or mid cues (stretching, increased movement, putting hand to mouth). Waiting until baby reaches late hunger cues (crying, agitated movement, turning red), means she likely will need soothing with cuddling, skin-to-skin contact, etc., before she will be calm enough to latch well. (Baby Wisdom UK)

• Are American Kids Spoiled Rotten? Modern hunter-gatherer societies invest in teaching their children to help/do chores from a very young age (2 years); this requires a parental tolerance for jobs done not-quite-right, and involves more parental involvement in the beginning, but produces children who are oriented toward helping and who are in the habit of working as they grow older. Americans, it turns out, wait too long to begin teaching children to help, in part because we are in a rush, without the time or patience to let toddlers pitch in — it just seems faster and easier to do the work ourselves. But perhaps we should reconsider our priorities, as a chores-oriented 7-year old is a wonderful thing! What types of tasks have you let your toddler help with? (Podcast from To the Point, inspired by this New Yorker article)

• Heads Up! Breech Conference: Detailed Session Summaries.  Wish you could have attended the Heads Up! Breech Conference in D.C. last year? Now you can do the next best thing: read these detailed summaries of the conference sessions, compiled by Rixa Freeze of Stand and Deliver! So much excellent breech information for providers and mamas alike! (Stand and Deliver)

• Tax Tips for Doulas.  Great advice! (Birthing Beautiful Ideas)

A new and powerful birth story today! With humor and insight, Mama Amanda shares the story of her journey to a natural birth with her first child at a local hospital. Amanda began her pregnancy staunchly in favor of an epidural, but as the time of her birth drew near, something unexpected changed her mind. Her story is a moving illustration of the value of knowledge, and of how empowering an informed birth can be!

Amanda, thank you for sharing your wonderful and beautifully-written story with us!  Though Ethan is now a toddler, his birth-day is still so very worthy of celebration!  Congratulations!

(And remember, you can read all of the birth stories in our Local Birth Story series here.  Hospital births, home births, birth center births, births with OBs, births with midwives — all are represented!)

THE BIRTH OF ETHAN

My son’s birth really begins with my own. I was born at 8:40 in the morning, only an hour after my mother woke up after a night of pleasant dreams about rolling over waves in the ocean. The midwives, who had worked with my mother on hypnosis as a mechanism for dealing with contractions, made it to the Memphis hospital just in time to catch me as I flew excitedly into the world. I grew up hearing this story A LOT. My mom used midwives who encouraged her to create her own birth experience. She was in labor all night and managed to sleep through it. She gave birth completely intervention free. To my young ears, it all sounded charming, in a hippie-dippie sort of way. In my mind, I had my doubts. I’d seen the videos in high school health class, I’d watched sitcoms, and I’d seen many a baby born in movies. I knew from an early age that birth was going to involve a long stay in a hospital, as many drugs as I could legally get my hands on, and a lot of screaming. There was no way that birth could be the way my mother described it. I grew up with the distinct impression that my mother, while strong, smart, and supportive, was completely wrong about giving birth. If she was right, why had every other image about birth I’d ever been shown involve screaming women clawing into their husbands and begging for an epidural? In the battle of media vs. my mother, the media had won.

Fast forward to the June of my 29th year and my first wedding anniversary. After an intimate moment with a home pregnancy test, my husband and I found out we were going to have a baby. We had the entire range of typical responses over the coming weeks: elation, joy, excitement, fear, anxiety, and stunned amazement. Aside from a small blood clot in my uterus (which resolved itself before the 2nd trimester), the pregnancy was an incredibly smooth one. The biggest issue we had was choosing a boy’s name that we both liked. I spent the first 7 months devouring everything I could read about pregnancy and infant development in the womb. I knew a lot about babies, but was really learning about pregnancy and birth for the first time. I still had my own birth story in the back of my mind when my husband and I signed up for the prepared childbirth class at the hospital.

When we arrived in class, the instructor asked us to write down our current ideas about what birth would look like. My card read “minimal pain by whatever means necessary” and “shortest duration possible.” In the back of my mind, I came into the class knowing that epidurals were my best bet in achieving the birth experience described on that card. We spent the next 6 classes watching some very graphic videos of women giving birth without epidurals, learning about the phases of labor, seeing the possible outcomes of various birth interventions, and learning ways to cope with the physical and mental challenges of labor. I realized that there are certain indignities that one must be willing to endure, certain situations one may not be able to avoid, in labor. Sure, there would be a blood and fluids spilling from me; sure, I might be mostly naked in front of nurses and other people I didn’t know; and sure, I might expel the contents of my bowels while giving birth. These are all things that, given the time to mull them over, I could handle. There were certain indignities, however, that I came to realize I could not accept. When I realized that an epidural could involve a catheter, everything changed for me. To put it bluntly, I could deal with pooping on the table but there was no way in hell anybody was going to insert a tube into my urethra. I wanted more control than that. That moment, that realization, changed my entire perspective on my son’s impending birth.

For some, the idea of a catheter may seem like a minor, perhaps even trivial, thing to worry about in birth. Perhaps it is, but I really saw the catheter as the element most symbolic of relinquishing all control to the medical process of birth. If I decided on having an epidural and all that it possibly involved or led to, I realized I was going to be relinquishing a lot of my own involvement in the birth. I was going to give up my ability to move around freely, I was going to give up feeling the contractions, I was going to give up my body’s own timing during the pushing phase. While I would possibly be gaining exactly what I had written on my index card at the beginning of class, I would be losing a lot of the actual experience of giving birth. The catheter was the symbolic hinge that swung me around to realizing that I wanted to experience birth in all of its challenges and wonders. It was a subconscious line in the sand that helped me understand what I did and did not want out of my son’s birth. I knew that the best-laid plans are just that…plans. I knew that things can and do go awry during a perfectly planned birth, but I also knew that I could have some measure of control over how I go into and hopefully how I finished giving birth.

After 28 years of disbelief, the story of my own birth finally made sense. My mom had decided she wanted to be the one in charge of her birth experience. She had the strength, determination, and fortitude to create the experience surrounding the birth of her daughter. My birth finally seemed real, perhaps even impressive. Pain and duration weren’t the enemy that needed to be beaten or avoided at all costs. Pain and duration were merely two of the many elements of birth. They were two elements that could be acknowledged, prepared for, dealt with, and managed in any way I chose. My media-driven ideas of birth had been shattered; even more than that, my ideas of the limitations of my own strength had been dispelled. I could do anything I put my mind to.

With a firm resolve and a birth plan in hand, my husband realized he would really like a little help in making our birth plan a reality. While he totally supported the decision to attempt an intervention-free birth, he wasn’t sure how to help support me. He wanted help to find the supportive words, actions, and physical positions that could assist me in labor. A mere 5 weeks before my due date, we set out in search of a doula who could be there to help us both get through labor and delivery. We were lucky enough to find a local doula who was available and whose personality complimented both of ours.

My last day of work also coincided with my due date. It was a beautiful Friday and a half day for my elementary students. We were all dressed up as characters from our favorite books and there was a huge school-wide parade that morning. While lining up for the parade, I started to feel some tightening in and around my abdomen. About an hour later, after singing and dancing our way around the school, I noticed that some of the tightening was becoming a little uncomfortable. Nothing to stop me from teaching, but definitely noticeable. Standing at recess around noon, I started to squat when I would feel what I now know to be a contraction. At the time, I figured they were my first taste of Braxton-Hicks. At 1:15 PM, I hopped along the bubble wrap that lined our school’s hallways (in tribute to Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop) and waved goodbye to my class as they went home. I even posed for a picture pretending to give birth while hopping on the bubble wrap. I then tried to pack up everything I hadn’t yet and drop off important paperwork to the office. By 3:00, I seemed to be having a lot of contractions. I felt like they were probably 15-20 minutes apart and I started telling my colleagues that something might be happening. My pregnant co-worker felt one contraction as I passed by her office and she remarked at how taut my abdomen felt. Later, as I was standing in the office having another contraction, she came in. When I remarked that I thought they were getting closer, she said “yeah, you were only in my room 5 minutes ago and I felt one.”

At that point, my principal said it was probably time to get going. My husband and I were meeting at the OB’s office and by the time I got there, I really felt the contractions were getting a little too close for comfort. I was still walking and talking, so I figured I wasn’t yet in active labor. The OB checked me out and said she’d like to put me on the monitor for a little while, just to see what was going on. After 30 minutes of monitoring, she informed me that it did look like I was having contractions about 3 minutes apart, but they could stop at any point. She then added, “of course, this could turn into labor.” She gently suggested that I go home and get ready for a potentially long night and that she expected she might see me at the hospital later.

Driving home was uncomfortable and I was started needing to breathe through my contractions. We immediately called the doula with a cautious “I-might-be-in-labor-but-we’re-not-really-sure” message. She recommended eating something while I could and then taking a bath. She said the bath would slow down or stop the contractions if it wasn’t real labor and possibly speed things up if it was real labor. Dutifully, I went home, finished the Chipotle burrito bowl I had started at lunch, and got in a warm bath. That’s when the contractions went from being a few minutes apart to being what can only be described as continuous. It was like having 3-4 contractions in a row with a 30 second break afterwards. I could feel the waves coming and ebbing just a little before the next one would start. We called the doula back and she arrived a little after 7 PM.

My doula said she usually saw layered contractions like this with back labor. We talked about trying to get the baby to roll over so he wouldn’t be sunny side up, but after a few techniques, it was too hard for me and we just decided to embrace the idea of continuous labor. My husband was desperately trying to finish some software programming and emails because it was also his last day of work before a couple weeks of paternity leave. As the contractions became more painful, I remember saying “I don’t think you’re going to be able to finish that stuff tonight” in a rather pointed tone before urgently calling him over to help during a contraction. Luckily, the doula was there to help me while he tried his best to quickly finish.

Time starts to blend together during this period. I remember feeling like I was and wasn’t in the room. I remember my vocalizations getting really deep and throaty. I remember thinking the only thing that was doing any good was sitting on the ball, leaning forward, arms and head draped over my doulas shoulders while my husband pushed into my lower back with his fists. I remember thinking “I wish I could go to sleep, sleep would be nice.” I remember mustering enough consciousness to speak only a couple of times, at least twice asking “when should we go to the hospital?” She told me the same thing each time: “you should go when you feel like you can still handle the car ride there.” Around 11:30, I realized it was soon going to be too painful to ride in a car without the comfort of the ball and massage, so I exerted all the effort I could and grunted out “let’s go.” I remember thinking “I can’t imagine it becoming more painful than this, I don’t know if I can do this without some pain relief.”

Oddly enough, it was the unassisted car ride that gave me the strength to keep on my intervention-free birth path. As I breathed and moaned in the passenger seat with my eyes closed, I realized that I was doing it all on my own. I was getting through the pain without help from anybody. I also realized that once I got to the hospital, people would be able to help me again, so this car ride was probably going to be the hardest laboring time I would have. My mind really settled down and focused on the fact that I could do this and there was no need for doubt anymore.

I managed to walk myself into the emergency room but couldn’t bring myself to speak to the lady behind the check-in counter. The time for talking was over. All I could do was concentrate on the cool feeling on the pillar on my forehead as I leaned forward and tried to keep breathing/moaning at a socially acceptable volume. The hospital, of course, didn’t have my paperwork from the OB, so they had to get all of my information. Luckily my husband caught the wallet I managed to fling him and took care of it all. It felt like there was no break between contractions. It was just the peak and then the slightly-lesser tightness that surrounded the peak on both sides. I managed to walk to the maternity ward (quite a hike when I could only take steps during the lesser tightening periods). When we got to triage and I changed out of my clothes, the nurse was kind enough to inspect me and inform me that I was over 8cm dialated. I was ecstatic to hear that piece of information. I could make it two more measly centimeters, right?!

I spent the next couple of hours (time really had no meaning, though) squatting while holding onto the birthing bar, draping myself over the back of the hospital bed, and basically ignoring everybody in the room. The OB showed up at some point and said things were looking good. I was intermittently monitored (so I am told, I don’t really remember) and unconnected to anything. That statement is also probably a deeper metaphor for my mental state at the time. I remember that my moans had turned into syllables. At some point my doula had my husband gently suggest that I use the syllable “yeeeesssss” instead of “nooooooo.” I switched. I don’t know if it really made a difference, I didn’t even realize what I was saying, but it wasn’t long after that I felt the urge to push. Pushing felt AMAZING compared to contractions. It felt productive, it felt like relief. After 5-6 pushes, the doctor made some quiet comment about the baby’s heart rate and before any of us had a chance to process, she had given me an episiotomy and I saw my baby’s head popping out quickly followed by the rest of him. 4 AM has never been a more beautiful time.

My first thought was, “Holy crap, he’s gigantic.” My first words were, “I just shot a human being out of my vagina.” This made the doctor chuckle. She then quickly got to the business of sewing up what I learned was a 3rd degree episiotomy. I definitely didn’t hurt at the time, but it certainly would afterwards, I could see nurses trying to suction fluid from my son’s lungs. He has swallowed some meconium on the way out, but they were able to clear it quickly and soon he was wailing like a banshee. Looking at the umbilical cord, I was shocked at how alien it and the placenta looked, lying there on the end of the bed. I was absolutely in awe that this stuff had just been inside me.

Once the meconium was out and he was weighed, they brought my son to me. We were so ecstatic/shocked/awed/amazed/beyond words. He was 9 pounds, 7 ounces of his father. I know there’s no research that actually supports the theory that newborns look more like their fathers and perhaps it really was in our minds, but my son came out looking like a carbon copy of his dad. They let us delay the bath and other newborn stuff so we could just cuddle with our little guy. It was glorious and surreal and confusing and wonderful.

Are there things I would change about the whole experience? Looking back, I wish the doctor had asked my permission before going with the episiotomy and waited a little longer for the placenta to deliver before pulling on the cord. I know that I’ll be a lot more specific with my next doctor before my next birth. I understand now why she did what she did, but the lack of communication was very confusing at the time and left me feeling more than a little underwhelmed with the OB. Of course, this OB was only 2 months away from no longer delivering babies so I realized that very few, if any, women would be in the same situation again. That was something of a relief to me at the time.

Other than a few medical things that can be easily addressed in any future pregnancy, I was really happy with my experience. More than being happy, I have never been more proud of myself in my life. I felt like if I can give birth to such a big baby without any meds, than I can quite literally do anything else to which I set my mind. I gave birth. I did that. I produced another living, breathing thing all by myself. Ok, I really couldn’t have done it without the support, massage, and general help from my husband and doula, but I think we can all agree that, at least physically, it really was me doing all the work.

It’s funny looking back. I wasn’t very informed going into motherhood. I had written off my own mother’s experience and gladly accepted pop culture as my source of information. I chose the OB because of their proximity to my house and place of work. Thanks to a childbirth class, I got to figure out what I wanted from a birth (and what the possibilities really were). I realized that I could have whatever kind of birth experience I wanted, in theory, as long as it was something I actively sought. All I had to do was make the decision instead of passively accepting what I thought was the norm. I knew that all of the proactive planning in the world couldn’t prevent emergency scenarios or last minute changes of plans, but thinking through what I wanted in the birthing process really empowered me. I learned so much about myself, emotionally, mentally, and physically because of the way my thinking changed about birth. 28 years after the fact, I am still just beginning to understand what my birth had meant to and for my mother. I know that I now appreciate her in a way I never could have before.

CARE PROVIDERS

Hospital: Sentara Williamsburg Regional Medical Center

Doula: Mandy Bealer, 757.272.2254, doulamommabirth@gmail.com

Rochelle’s story is a wonderful illustration of a mother preparing for her birth in every way possible (for example, taking excellent care of herself; following her heart to the right place of birth for her and her baby; assembling a strong support team; knowing her birth plan), then surrendering to the process when the day arrives, knowing she has controlled all she can control, and laboring with focus, calm, and grace, even in the face of the unexpected.

We are grateful that you have shared your story with us all, Rochelle! Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!

(And remember, you can read all of the birth stories in our Local Birth Story series here.  Hospital births, home births, birth center births, births with OBs, births with midwives — all are represented!)

THE BIRTH OF KELLER

I enjoy researching things to a fault. Typically before I buy something, or even begin to think of buying something, I start reading customer reviews of the product. I can spend literally hours on Google and Amazon obsessing about a decision on a purchase. So in true-to-me fashion, when I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I began researching.

I researched birth statistics, OB groups in the area, and hospital statistics. It quickly drove me crazy with the amount of information I was encountering…not to mention scare the life out of me! In a short time I realized how nerve-wracking making these decisions was going to be for me. I then remembered that I had a partner along for this ride and started asking my husband what he thought. He was less than enthusiastic about the amount of research I was putting into this since he knows me well enough to realize that I would drive myself insane with the choices. He took the laid back stance of letting me know that whatever I chose to do would be fine with him. He also encouraged me not to obsess about these choices, but rather give my worries over to God and trust that things would work out.

[A note from WilliamsburgMothering.com:  Williamsburg Mothering is a secular blog, not affiliated with any system of religious belief or non-belief.  For many women, faith is an important part of their lives and of their journey to birth.  For others, it is not.  No matter our spiritual beliefs, however, we can all appreciate, learn from, and find inspiration in each others’ stories!  Birth is universal.]

It was at that point that I took a moment to do what I had ultimately known to do in the first place. I prayed. I prayed for discernment when making the choices ahead and I relented to the fact that no matter how hard I wished I was in complete control of this situation, I was truly just along for the ride. I was certain of a few things however. I knew that I desired a natural birth and was hoping to forgo any medication or medical intervention that wasn’t necessary. I also decided that keeping myself healthy with a good diet and exercise was going to be a priority. It was these choices that led me to seek out a midwife and then ultimately a doula.

I quickly became disheartened with how few midwives were in the area that delivered in hospitals. I knew that I felt most comfortable with a hospital birth. I kept leaning towards a birth center birth and reading about the options in the area but would ultimately keep returning to birthing in a hospital. While at my primary care provider’s office I was told by the office manager about a midwife that worked with their OB group at another office. This intrigued me and I felt it was the sign I had been waiting for. I set my first appointment up immediately.

My entire pregnancy was extremely uneventful. Once I was past my first trimester and the extreme fatigue and carb craving was over, I returned to my healthy diet and daily walking. At this point I decided to hire a doula. Both my husband and I are not from the area and we knew that it was likely that we wouldn’t have any family members present for the birth. A close friend had introduced me to the idea of a doula and I was in love with the idea from that moment on. It took a little convincing for my husband to understand why we needed a doula. Our decision of course led to more researching and many emails contacting various doulas. This researching however wasn’t so stressful. I was encouraged by the testimonials I read and the emotional support that these various doulas provided at births. We had a few interviews set up but decided after meeting our first doula that she was a perfect match. We canceled our other interviews and felt very confident as we continued to assemble our “birthing lineup”.

With the help of our doula, my husband and I read books on natural childbirth and attended a Lamaze class focused on natural child birthing options. I found Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth fascinating and I wished for a birth like the ones I read about. I felt so empowered when I was reminded of this body I possessed that was designed by a perfect God to bring another human being into this world.

Things were lining up beautifully like ducks in a row. I was lulled into my false sense of having complete control. It was time to introduce another aspect of birth to worry about. I was very focused on induction. I had decided that I did not want to be induced and I was hoping to go into labor on my own. I knew this was not something I could control so I channeled my worry into prayer and trust that I would be able to deal with whatever situation may come. I didn’t have to worry long on this matter.

My due date was September 20. The evening of August 19 was a Sunday evening. I had gotten our lunches packed for the next day and my husband was finishing up a final project for his grad school class. I was walking into the room when I thought I had a bit of a fluid leak. It wasn’t much but my gut feeling was that this was significant. I felt it was my water breaking. I had lost my mucus plug the night before but I knew it could be weeks before I went into labor following it. All of my planning and preparing went out the door as we jumped in the car to head to the hospital. I placed a call into the OB office and one of the doctors returned my call. We spoke briefly and it was felt that it wasn’t my water breaking and that I should keep an eye on it. If I had any more concerns I was instructed to report to the ER overnight to be checked. My husband turned the car around and we returned home slightly on edge. I spoke with my doula and updated her on the situation as well. She encouraged me to relax and try to get some sleep while we waited to see how things progressed.

A short time passed and I became certain that it indeed was my water that broke. I felt some cramping in my lower abdomen and very restless. I spoke to my doula again and we went over our options as far as going to the hospital vs. staying home to see if labor would start on its own. The decision was up to us. My husband and I prayed for guidance in this decision together. I knew in my heart that I wasn’t ready to go to the hospital at this point. Our plan had been to labor at home as long as possible and that was what I felt most comfortable doing. I had a peace about this unexpected early arrival and whereas I fretted and stressed about all the decisions up until this point; I knew exactly what to do in that moment.

It was a matter of hours until I started getting separate contractions and my husband started timing them. Walking and position changes were somewhat effective at dealing with the pain. I continued to pray throughout the night and listened to soft music as well. It helped to focus on the words of the songs. My contractions progressed to 5 minutes apart and we started getting ready to head to the hospital. Our doula offered to meet us at our house to drive to the hospital but I knew that we didn’t have time to wait as the contractions were getting closer together and more painful. It was a rainy 20 minute drive at about 6 am. It was still dark out and I was thankful for no traffic on I-64. We arrived at the hospital and were taken up to L & D.

I attempted to fill out my paperwork while I continued to have contractions. My husband arrived from parking the car and our doula met us at this point as well. The nurses informed me that they were going to check to see if I was in labor. I was kind of amused by this since I had needed to take numerous breaks for contractions while I was filling out my paperwork. I was certain I was indeed in labor. One of the nurses checked my cervix and chaos quickly ensued. I was 10 cm dilated and 35.5 weeks pregnant. I was swiftly hooked up to the monitors and my IV was placed. The OB group was contacted and a NICU team arrived as well due to my early gestation. During all of this I just kept closing my eyes and focusing on my contractions and continuing to pray. I still felt very much at peace with our situation despite the large amount of activity around us. The doctor arrived and informed me that I could push. I still wasn’t feeling like I was ready to push so I told him that I would let him know when I was ready.

When I decided that I was ready to push I ended up trying a few different positions until I found one that was effective with the help of my husband and our doula. I ended up pushing while laying on my right side. Position for birthing had been something that I was very adamant about prior to labor. I wanted to be able to push from whatever position was comfortable for me. I had anxiety about being forced to push while lying on my back. Thankfully my nurse and doctor were very accommodating and patient while I figured out what felt right to me. It took four pushes to birth our daughter and she was immediately placed on my chest. Our daughter was perfectly healthy despite being a little early. I was allowed to have delayed cord cutting which I was grateful for. We were so thankful for a labor and delivery without complications. It served as another lesson in my life that I indeed do not control my circumstances; I only can control how I react to my situation.

Looking back on my pregnancy, labor, and delivery I can certainly say I was blessed to receive the type of birth I desired. At our meeting with our doula after the delivery we went over what I had told her my goals were the first time I had met with her. My goals that I communicated to her included a quick, efficient delivery and secondly, I did not want to birth the baby while lying on my back. I had been blessed with all of these goals and also ended up with a healthy, beautiful baby girl.

The Birth Team

Hospital: Mary Immaculate Hospital, Newport News

Doula: Peggy Caister, Doula on the Peninsula

• PODCAST: Tandem Nursing. Thinking about breastfeeding through pregnancy, and possibly tandem nursing your newborn and toddler after birth? This podcast – and Hilary Flower’s book Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond – are perfect for you! So is this series of helpful articles at KellyMom. (Motherwear)

• Are you due on a holiday?  Don’t be pressured into an induction! Let the baby come on his own schedule. (Giving Birth With Confidence, Lamaze International)

• What is the evidence for perineal massage during pregnancy to prevent tearing? The greatest benefits appear to be for first-time moms. (Science & Sensibility, by By Rebecca Dekker, PhD, RN, APRN, of Evidence Based Birth)

• Comparing the odds of postpartum haemorrhage in planned home birth against planned hospital birth. A recent study of 500,000+ British births showed that postpartum hemorrhage is more likely in planned hospital births than planned home births. Further research is needed to determine whether the increased risk is connected to how labor is managed in the hospital versus at home. (BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth)

• Paid Family Leave: Can we change the maternity and paternity leave debates to include everyone? Family Leave — granting every person guaranteed paid time off to care for babies, children, sick relatives, and elderly parents — sounds good to me! (Huffington Post)